A step by step guide to get YOU the results YOU NEED!
@May 11, 2022
What’s up hax0rs, it’s your number one hacker 0xTastyyboi here. Today I’m going to show you how to HACK your EX’S SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNTS. No frills, no BS, just a 6 step program that works.
Have you been wronged by your ex? Do you want revenge?
Did she dump you out of nowhere and now you’re not sure how to carry on with your own life because she was literally everything to you?
What better way to get revenge than to HACK your EX’S SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNTS? That’s where I, 0xTastyyboi, come in. I’m going to show you all that you need to know to HACK your EX’S SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNTS.
If you follow this guide step by step, I guarantee that YOU will get the results YOU NEED. So let’s begin!
Step 1: Preparation
To prepare to HACK your EX’S SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNTS, you first need to come up with a list of reasons why you might want to do so. Take this opportunity to write down a list of everything your ex did that you feel has wronged you! Don’t hold back, this is your time to settle the score.
To do this, we’ll use the ultimate hacker Linux OS, Kali Linux. You can download Kali Linux here:
https://www.kali.org/I recommend removing your main operating system and installing it right on the metal of your PC. We’re real hax0rs, right? Real hax0rs run Kali on bare metal. If you don’t do this, you’re a scrub and won’t be able to HACK your EX’S SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNTS so just do it, ok?
Once you’ve removed your original OS and installed Kali on your main PC, you should see this:
Hmm.. I actually don’t know the login for this. One moment.
Ok, I found the login info in an old Stack Overflow article. The login is root:toor so use that to..-
Well, that didn’t work. Hold on...
Ok, for real this time. I guess they changed it or something, but the login is kali:kali.
Alright, that worked!
Now, we can use notepad.exe and write a list of all of the ways our ex has wronged us!
... Kali doesn’t have notepad.exe? What the hell is... ok you know what, forget it. We’ll just use the version of notepad that’s available on Kali. I guess it’s called vi. So run vi why_i_hate_her.txt and let’s begin!
i to be able to add text when you’re writing in vi (●__●)Begin by writing why you hate your ex:
Awesome! Keep going!
Yes, that’s it! Let it all out!
Once you have enough reasons, it’s time to move to the next phase!
Step 2: Recon
All great hax0rs do tons of recon when they want to hack into a thing. It’s time for us to do recon against our ex so we can prepare our hacks!
One of the best ways to do recon on your ex is to look at her Instagram account and see what she’s been up to. This is known as Open Source Intelligence (OSINT). It is a fantastic way to do recon because you’ll get to look at all of her recent posts.
Let’s take a look at their Instagram page to see...
Here, we see that she definitely ended up going on that trip to Jamaica that we planned together. We can take note of several small details like how much fun she’s having, how nice the scenery is, and...
You know what, never mind. There’s no interesting OSINT in this picture.
Let’s look at another one for more recon!
Oh.
Um, well it looks like she ended up going to her cousin’s wedding after all.
Wow, that’s a nice suit.
...
Fuck.
Step 3: Social Engineering
Now is the time to prepare our social engineering routine. For this part of the process, you’ll call her up and try to get her to tell you her password! It’s foolproof!
I have written the following social engineering routine that you can use to help you get started. It uses a great pretext to gain her trust. I guarantee it will work:
Hello, this is SlimChoice Cable Service Providers, I am calling you today because I have been alerted about potential fraud within your account. Your current service will stop unless you provide me the account password and six digit code that I’m about to send... Ok, fuck it. Vanessa, it’s me, Brian. Don’t hang up! I know I lied about being a cable service provider and I’m sorry but I just couldn’t stop myself from reaching out to you. Please, just hear me out. I’ve been completely lost since you left and I just feel so alone and afraid and I was wondering if you’d like to meet up to talk about- Hello? Hello!? Vanessa, please! Please hear me out! I miss you!
Step 4: Enumeration
If you’ve made it this far, we’re now in the part of the hack where we enumerate. All great hax0rs must be very thorough and patient with enumeration.
Begin by enumerating your feelings about the situation:
- i feel very lonely.
- i'm mad that she left me and i'm sad that she won't tell me why...
-... but I think I know exactly why this happened. I mean, I wasn't exactly the best partner to her, when I look back over things. I think our relationship started with the best of intentions, but we just didn't keep up with the maintenance, you know? Like it's easy to love someone early on when things are fresh and exciting, but that eventually fades. This happens to me every time. I get so excited about someone new but then can't seem to stay engaged in the long run.
Then her dad got sick and I tried as best as I could to be there for her, but all I felt like doing was running! It freaked me out. And instead of being there for her, I think I just clammed up and withdrew because I was hurt. And I don't know why it freaked me out so much but I felt like I had no other choice but to run.Remember, scripting is incredibly important in the enumeration phase. For example, I use this Python script:
import webbrowser
sad = True
url = "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XF8ScnGKGKM"
if sad:
webbrowser.open(url, new=2)This is a simple Python script that opens the web browser to the YouTube video of Wicked Game by Chris Isaak.
Which was our song.
It makes me weep openly for the times when we would slow dance in our kitchen while this was playing. I felt so safe in her arms.
At this point, it is probably worth enumerating the information about the nearest therapist office. You do remember that, during one of the fights, she did say that therapy might be what you need.
I guess this is as good a time as ever.
We’ll use the curl command to request the web page of Psychology Today’s list of therapists in the Cincinnati, OH area that specialize in Marital and Familial Relationships:
$ curl https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/oh/cincinnati?category=family-marital
I guess that’s kind of hard to read. Or maybe it’s the tears in my eyes.
But in any case, maybe it’s easier to use a web browser to enumerate this page instead.
Take a deep breath. You don’t need a social engineering routine. You don’t need a Python script. You just need to dial the number of a therapist on this list. It’s not that hard.
“Hi... I’m calling because I’d like to schedule an introductory appointment... I’m having some issues with emotional intimacy and thought some therapy could help.
... yes, I can hold.”
Step 5: Persistence
Persistence is extremely important when you’re trying to UNTIE your EMOTIONAL KNOTS!
In this phase, you persistently show up to therapy and keep working on yourself.
It’s hard, it definitely is. But remember that this is the time you’ll be working out emotional knots that have been years in the making. Don’t give up!
This is where you start to figure out why you fall into the same patterns of behavior with relationships. You’ll figure out that you have what’s known as an “avoidant attachment style.” That you feel as though emotional intimacy is the scariest thing on Earth because your own parents were incapable of showing that intimacy for each other.
Your therapist says that statistically speaking, divorces do the most emotional damage to kids who are age 17. And things start to make sense when you put that into perspective. That was you, just over 10 years ago. You saw your parents marriage evaporate and never really recovered from the emotional trauma.
And that when Vanessa’s dad got sick last year, it really put it into perspective how intimate you two had gotten and how quickly your relationship had developed into something serious when you thought it was just a fling. He ended up being fine, thank god. But while he was in the hospital, you spent a few nights watching her pace around the apartment, crying and worried.
She was vulnerable to you. You’d never seen that happen before.
And that terrified you enough that you felt that you had no other choice but to run.
You’ll ask your therapist “is this common?”
And he’ll chuckle.
“You wouldn’t believe how common.”
Six months go by. It’s still hard, but you’re getting there. The hole left behind by Vanessa was impossible to fill, but you start to develop some hobbies to pass the time. She took all of her plants back to her parent’s house when she left and, weirdly enough, you begin to miss them. You go to Home Depot and buy a cactus.
It dies within two weeks.
A year has gone by since she left. You’ve been in therapy for a whole year! It still hurts like hell some days.
But on other days, you don’t think about her at all.
You’ll walk through the park. Your park. But it doesn’t feel like that anymore. It just feels like... a park now. You smile. Maybe this is where it turns around. Maybe this is where you can appreciate what your relationship meant but accept that it’s over.
This is persistence.
Step 6: Acceptance
This is the final step in this guide on how to GET OVER your MOST RECENT HEARTBREAK and if you’re anything like me, dear hax0rs, you’ve been through quite a lot. But as you continue therapy and are made more aware of your own emotional blind spots, you begin to notice how to avoid the same pitfalls.
You’re not really dating again. Not quite yet. But the idea doesn’t scare you as much as it used to. Someday, you’ll get back out there. But for right now, you’re still working on it.
You’re in repair.
Vanessa, I doubt you’re reading this. But if you are, I just want to say something.
I’m doing OK now.
I’ve been in therapy and working on myself. Therapy has helped me realize why you felt you had to leave. And I understand now. I don’t blame you.
I hope you’re doing OK too.
My therapist and I worked out that I have problems articulating my emotions. Not surprising, huh? And that my parent’s own divorce led me to fear emotional intimacy. I take responsibility for it all. I realized now that I wasn’t the best partner to you.
I don’t think we’re right to be together anymore. Time has helped me appreciate how much you helped me grow as a person while we were together, but I just wasn’t the best version of myself back then.
I hope your dad is still doing OK. And please give plenty of pets to Zoe for me and tell her that I love her. I know you’re taking care of her better than I ever could.
If you’re ever in Cincinnati and you feel alright about it, give me a call. I’d love to catch up some time. If not, I completely understand.
-Brian
vi
Esc + :wq!(Author’s note: yes I’m aware of hakluke’s blog post. What do you think inspired this one 😉)
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